Oh Look! A Word Cloud!

This Is a Useless Post

1. Fancy new layout! Not really new or fancy, but thanks to Blogger's templates and a night with nothing to do, I went big and clicked the "Save New Layout" button. For those of you wondering, I chose it for the widescreen effect. I feel it makes the reading experience more enjoyable.

2. I just caught up on the last 2 episodes of "The Hills". And all I can say is....wow. Does anyone watch this anymore (spare me the glaringly obvious observation that yes, I just watched it, so obviously someone does)? Really, I want to know. It seems like the only thing they're really good for is making some great facial expressions and eye rolls. These girls have got non-verbal communication down. Please see:

Oh yeah, that's some good shit.

Anyways, at this point it seems like the girls are becoming total caricatures of themselves. Lauren is the dull whiny one (seriously, look at how she acts on dates. No wonder she's had so few), Lo is the snarky bitch who looks like an aging housewife, and Audrina is...simple. I'll admit that I was kind of into the show seasons 1 & 2, but I can only spend so many half hours of my life completely uselessly. Goodbye, Hills. The rest has all been written.

1/4 Year

That's exactly how long I've been living in San Francisco. 3 months ago today I boarded my plane sleepy and bleary-eyed, and emerged 9 hours later the newest member of people who make drastic moves directly after college.

While my time here has had its ups and downs, I'm beginning to love it more and more. I'm starting to feel a bit more comfortable (while still missing the enveloping comfort and total familiarity of the East Coast), savoring the mundane, and cuddling into my still-growing social nest. Every day I'm getting more and more clarity (and ironically, the questions coming from) regarding my goals, hopes, wishes, whatever you want to call them. While they'll probably change in the next months, as goals have the tendency to do, I'm excited to watch them grow and change. I'm also reading everything in sight right now, devouring op-eds, memoirs, novels, and articles, and loving it. Instead of reading for tests or class, I'm reading just to step back a little bit from my life and immerse myself in something completely detached from myself.

Yesterday we took the train to Berkeley to explore the campus and take advantage of the beautiful weather. It was exactly a college campus should be: a self-contained enclave that lets you forget that the outside world still exists, with rolling green grass, leafy walkways, and distinguished architecture. After traipsing around for a couple hours we went to a local brewery & restaurant that Yelp gave good reviews. The late afternoon was spent drinking (lots of yummy cider for me), eating wings & greased soaked baked potatoes, and watching the Olympics. We hopped back on BART and spent the rest of the night hanging out at Valley St, with Chan & co making an appearance (and experiencing Mitchell's for the first time!!), and ending with me passing out in the papasan for a bit.

Today has lent itself to simple life maintenance; meeting Alex for lunch at Dolores Park Cafe and reading Dreams From My Father, making a stop at Bi-Rite for simple groceries, and relaxing in my room with the sun shining in from the hills. The coming week will hopefully be low-key in anticipation of Labor Day weekend; the boss is out of town through Wednesday, and the office closes at 2pm on Friday. The only possibility for negativity is my informal Q2 review, but even that I'm not too concerned about. I think it's safe to say that life is good, and getting even better.

Rage-Inducing Moment of the Day

When I get a bill from AT&T on an account I don't even have, with a number I've never seen, and then when I'm on the phone with customer service my call gets dropped TWICE.

The Highlight of My Week Thus Far

Dear Yellow Bouncy Ball,

Thank you for letting me buy you and use you as my new office chair. I think we've had a fun couple of days so far. Major highlights have been trying to bounce myself off you as high as possible when no one is looking, as well as dancing to the jazz band outside my window. I hope that the coming weeks will continue to provide me with the most fun I've had at work the entire time I've been here, as you are a cheerful, bouncy, delightful office companion. I might have to play it cool when other people are in the office, but trust me, I'd rather be bouncing.



Love,

The Ass Who Sits On You

Foul

I think something died under the stairs of my apartment, because it smells like someone bludgeoned a skunk with a moldy block of cheese and left it in the sun for a few days.

Seriously though, this is disgusting. That is all.

Update: My roommate cooked fish. I shudder to think what it tasted like.

Book Reviews

I'm taking a page from Alex's blog and doing 2 book reviews today. It's a dreary Monday and the bay looks silver-y grey from my work window, and a quiet office lends itself nicely to blogging.

Book 1: The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls.

The Glass Castle is an unbelievable memoir. Not in writing style, but in actual events; I find them incredibly difficult to believe. The book begins by recounting the author's earliest memory--she is on fire in her trailer park kitchen at the age of 3. She was making hot dogs on the stove, and her ballerina outfit catches fire and she is engulfed in flames while her mother paints in the next room.

The memoir is filled with moments like this, where the reader shakes their head at the squalor the author grew up in, and at her critically dysfunctional family life. Her parents are manic depressive and alcoholics, often forgoing feeding their family in favor of hording chocolate or spending their daughter's hard-earned escape money for a night at the bar. You can't help but feel for the children, who are alternatively enthralled by their parents or angered and ashamed. One of the turning points for the author is when she in on her way to a Park Avenue party and sees her homeless mother rooting through trash on the sidewalk.

The book is an exercise in emotional restraint for Walls. Instead of treating the book as a catharsis, she writes from an objective, emotionless perspective. It seems that at this point in her life the hardship she's gone through is completely detached from her current reality. She rarely expresses anger towards her parents or family, instead choosing to recite the facts of her life like she's reciting facts from the encyclopedia. It's an easy read, but it'll leave you feeling frustrated with Walls and her family, especially her parents. It's true, though, that Walls had a life worth retelling, so if you're into memoirs you'll probably enjoy this.


Book 2: The Pillars of the Earth, Ken Follett.

I finished this 1,000 page novel this morning on the J on my way into work. I've been working on it the past couple of weeks, and I was left generally satisfied with it. The story is set in the 1100s in medieval England, where the country is engaged in civil war. Pillars of the Earth weaves together an ensemble cast of characters whose lives become entwined in the first 200 pages, all with varying goals, desires, and wishes. Frankly, it's a 1,000 page soap opera with all the standard ingredients: love, lust, war, religion (medieval, remember?), murder, and conspiracies. At times I was just wishing for the book to end; at a certain point one village can only be invaded by the same guy so many times. But it's fluff, and fluff is always pretty easy to stomach, even in large portions. The writing is easy and engaging enough, and one of the books greatest strength's is its character depth--you really begin to know and feel the characters, and you can bet that if you see one guy at the beginning he'll show up at the end with his own twisted history. If you're currently overwhelmed by more intense reading and want something on the side to pick up and just entertain you for a bit, this is a good choice. But if you're looking for something profound that'll change your life, leave this at home.


Next two books on tap are Eat, Pray, Love (I feel like everyone woman has read this book, but I might be wrong) and Obama's Dreams from My Father. Needless to say I'm more excited about Obama's book, but I'm also vaguely curious to see how living in Italy, India, and Indonesia goes. Maybe I'll just have to go on vacation there and find out.

Let's Get Physical

It's a terrible song, I know.

But here's something I've realized in the past week or so (big revelation turn-around): I am not someone who enjoys going to the gym.

This probably explains why I rarely went to the Hel-Wel when it was warm enough to play outside, and why it took a major breakthrough for me to sign up for my gym out here. I just really dislike being in a recycled air box that looks like Globo-Gym, surrounded by girls too concerned with their makeup and guys too concerned with their rippling (ha) muscles. I find that it takes a huge amount of effort to motivate myself to get on an elliptical for 45 minutes when I'd otherwise happily get outside and play ultimate, ride my bike, or just take a long walk.

So why am I not playing ultimate? There's a few reasons, but 2 major ones. The first is that I got to San Francisco too late into the club season to really weigh my different options. The second is that I wasn't in the financial position to be able to afford living a normal life and also play club, and that I also wasn't ready to make the time commitment. I was, and am, new to the city, and I wanted my weekends to explore my new surroundings and get comfortable in a completely different place. And disappointingly enough, San Francisco doesn't have any semblance of a real summer league like PADA or even WAFC. There's technically a league that plays in Golden Gate, but it's beginning-friendly, not even allowing zone for the first 5 weeks or so. One word: lame. I'm excited for winter league, and am faintly toying with the idea of playing club next year. If I don't do that, I'll also be more than content making Wildwood my yearly tournament come-back.

My real point though is that I like being outside and doing something that actually achieves a purpose that exceeds meeting a time or calories-burned goal. Yes, I like chasing after a piece of plastic for 8 hours straight, but 8 hours in a gym? Fat chance. After spending the last 5 weeks or so trying to be diligent about heading to work out after work, my enthusiasm is waning. It's time for me to get outside again, start doing yoga after a year hiatus, and maybe even throw every once in a while...living with Alex will hopefully help with that aspect.

One thing I will not do is hike for extended periods of time. Why? Because of a disastrous senior hike in high school that has still left me scarred to this day. I'll save that story for another day though.

October 1st

I know, it's still almost 2 months away.

But October 1st is my newly self-imposed deadline. On that day I'm hoping to have:
1. New house
2. New job

New house is essentially taken care of. For those of you wondering, Alex and I were actually offered the amazing apartment we looked at on Thursday. It was perfect--good size, great condition, nice quiet little side street. On Sunday we got the email saying we'd gotten the apartment. But, plot twist!, the landlord (who lives below) would need to share the bathroom and kitchen with us due to some sort of legal shenanigans. The landlord was a cool younger guy, but we weren't crazy about the idea of suddenly having a 3rd (and at times 4th, when his girlfriend was around) roommate. So we did the unthinkable in the San Francisco rental housing market...we turned him down.

So then how do I have a place to move into October 1st? I'm now taking a room opening up in Alex's current place at Hayes and Fillmore (.5 blocks from the Full House houses, if you're wondering), waving goodbye to the Mission and its sunshine and burritos. I'm not overly heartbroken about it, as Alex's place is gorgeous, with fun things like dishwashers and laundry (which I'm currently lacking), as well as an enormous kitchen, deck, backyard, and big living room. My future room is a bit smaller than my room now, but with a big closet. It also won't be blindingly bright at 7am every morning, and won't be filled with the street noises I currently hear while falling asleep (for example sirens, crackheads, and drunks). Lastly, I can GET A DOG. My bulldog puppy dreams are nearing fulfillment....

So I guess I just need to get a job in the next 6 weeks. Totally doable, crap job market be damned.

I'd also like to wish Alex a very happy (albeit belated) birthday! Here's to you, future roomie. May your coming year be filled with grilled peaches, kegs of Blue Moon, and many multiple roommate makeout sessions (disclaimer: not her roommates. Other roommates).

On a slightly more serious note, I'd also like to just take this chance to publicly remember my Granny Bell. I found out on Friday that she died last week, at the ripe old age of 92. I was her only granddaughter for 18 years, and I loved her and miss her very much. My dad said it best in his email to me and my brother:

Do not grieve too strongly for her. First, she would not have wanted you to do so; for she was cheery and optimistic in her outlook on life. Sadness had its place, of course, but was also to be kept firmly in its place. Secondly, she had had what we British call a very good innings. She enjoyed a long and full life -- though not without its trials and tribulations -- one marked by love, children and companionship, as well as robust good health until almost the very end, when physical frailty and arthritis became a daily burden. Thirdly, she died peacefully at home. Pamela found her in her armchair, looking quite peaceful, with the television on. As Pamela reconstructs things, she had opened the windows, aired her bed, had a light breakfast and watered the plants in the pots in the front garden. These exertions would have called for a brief rest -- and so she departed this life quietly and in dignity. Such a death we wish not only for those we love, but also for all who have led decent lives.

Current Wishlist

Things that I want right now:


A banana muffin from Boudin.

The apartment Alex and I are looking at tomorrow.

Bulldog puppy. Name if it's a boy: Gulliver (Gully for short). If it's a girl: Lucy.

A vacation.

And, lastly, a nap.

August August August

How it is already August when I'm wearing a sweater and it's cloudy, cold, and dreary outside? 22 years of experience tell me that this is the month when I should be sleeping without a blanket, darting from air conditioned cars to air conditioned apartments, and rediscovering the relief a sprinkler can bring on a hot day.

But no. Instead I'm stuck in some kind of winter-to-spring limbo that demands a fluffy comforter at night and sweaters by day. I suppose, on the plus side, that when the East Coast is buried in snow I'll still just be wearing a light sweater, down jackets be damned. The thought still doesn't completely satisfy my inherent need for sticky 95 degree heat.

Something else about August that I recently realized was that, for the first time in 17? 18? years, I won't be having a first day of school. Of course, the anticipation for these first days varied. When I was younger my mom used to put together huge, cone-shaped containers filled with candy and back-to-school goodies like pencils and cute erasers. If I remember correctly, there's a picture of me on the steps of my house on my first day of first grade, wearing a yellow flowered dress and holding this enormous reminder that fun was over and school was starting. I wasn't smiling in the picture. In fact, I looked pretty unpleased for summer to end.

While the unpleasantness of the end of summer probably never quite left my face, feelings changed. I remember my first day of high school and being SO excited to finally have left middle school and enter what I thought would be adulthood. First day of college was a mix of fear and excitement. And then, last year, my last first day of school was a mixture of the apathy any bored senior knows, nervousness in facing first practice as captain, and the simple, enlightening knowledge that I'd made it through 3 years, I can do one more.

Now, a year later, I'm conflicted. Habit tells me that in a matter of weeks my routine will consist of hard plastic desks, afternoon practices, and late nights (not of studying, though). Part of me, admittedly, has the itch to go back and start learning anew, but that's an itch I can wait a year or two to scratch. The greater part of me has the desire to face new challenges in an as-of-yet underdeveloped part of my life: work. In the past day I've spoken to or emailed with two of my favorite DC people. One is embarking on a 2 year teaching challenge, the other quit his sure-to-be profitable job at Deloitte before it even started, becoming a field organizer for the Obama campaign. Both of them are working their asses off, drowning in work and assignments, going to bed exhausted every night from the sheer energy it takes to make every day successful. The thing is, they love their jobs, despite the late nights and despite the daily challenges and stress they're always presented with. While one (obviously) did have a first day of school, but on the other side of the desk, it seems that they're content to have August go by without the overwhelming wish to be back in school. Yes, we might miss college and its irresponsibility, but there's no real need to be back. The next step is treating them well.

Right now my "next step" is...average. I'm currently trying to make the decision between:
1. Staying where I am (professionally) for the next 6 months or so, earning a raise and promotion and sticking it out til I go somewhere else for a higher-level position.
Or
2. Going somewhere else now, same position, dealing with getting broken in to a new company all over again, but hopefully doing so in a more vibrant, challenging, and fitting environment.

Advice is welcomed.

So, that's August for me. Coasting along til I figure out my (re)direction, spending time off soaking up the city, its people, its food, reading for pleasure (something I never had in school), and building my sweater collection.

And if anyone wants to send me some candy on the first day of school....I won't say no.