He's Just Not That Into You

I'm in a book club. I found it on Craigslist (surprise! I like using Craigslist/CL for things. Like my job, bike, apartment, furniture....).

Anyways, the book club is comprised of about 8 women ages 25-29. Yes, I'm the baby of the group. It's a good crowd--intelligent, witty, and super friendly. I met them for the first time about 3 weeks ago at a wine bar in Hayes Valley, where introductions were made and the next book discussed. The choice was....He's Just Not That Into You.

If you know me, you can imagine my initial thought of HELL NO. As someone who considers themselves moderately well-adjusted and not into reading Bridget Jones-esque self-help books, I recoiled at the idea. Frankly, so did a few of the other girls, but somehow we still settled on this particular book.

Naturally, I put off buying it until Monday, book club being Wednesday (yesterday). I was honestly kind of embarrassed to be buying a pink and green book that screams I AM SAD AND ALONE. I seriously contemplated buying the 1,000 page "How Your Government Failed You" book set up by the check out. I thought it might restore my dignity and legitimacy as a functional human being. Anyways, I read the book in an hour at work on Tuesday because it's in toddler-size font. I hated it.

Seriously, don't read it people. Well, don't read it girls. It's a completely twisted modern-day take on The Rules, written by a cocky jackass with bad frosted tips and a single 41 year old woman. He's married and dating you? He's not that into you. He never called? He's not that into you. He doesn't wanna have sexy times? He's not that into you.

Really? Did a book actually need to be written on this subject? Or was there a special "I lost my common sense" convention where people decided a book like this should be written? Beyond that, the book basically says that no guy is ever going to be good enough, and that mistakes (you know, the kinds humans have the tendency to make) are inexcusable. Nothing less than perfection can be accepted, and it's completely the guy's fault if things don't work out. Um, what about all the crazy bitches of the world? Lorenna Bobbit, I'm sorry, but he's just not that into you. What if the GIRL cheats? Still dumps you? Sorry, he's not that into you. Um, of course he's not.

Fine, I can understand that some women may lack the basic common sense to figure these things out, and this book may help with that. But really, you don't need to be showered in rose petals on a daily basis in order to determine the level of "into you-ness". The way I see it, if whoever you're with is making you happy and trying not to fuck up, you're pretty lucky.

Now I'm gonna go return this book.