August August August

How it is already August when I'm wearing a sweater and it's cloudy, cold, and dreary outside? 22 years of experience tell me that this is the month when I should be sleeping without a blanket, darting from air conditioned cars to air conditioned apartments, and rediscovering the relief a sprinkler can bring on a hot day.

But no. Instead I'm stuck in some kind of winter-to-spring limbo that demands a fluffy comforter at night and sweaters by day. I suppose, on the plus side, that when the East Coast is buried in snow I'll still just be wearing a light sweater, down jackets be damned. The thought still doesn't completely satisfy my inherent need for sticky 95 degree heat.

Something else about August that I recently realized was that, for the first time in 17? 18? years, I won't be having a first day of school. Of course, the anticipation for these first days varied. When I was younger my mom used to put together huge, cone-shaped containers filled with candy and back-to-school goodies like pencils and cute erasers. If I remember correctly, there's a picture of me on the steps of my house on my first day of first grade, wearing a yellow flowered dress and holding this enormous reminder that fun was over and school was starting. I wasn't smiling in the picture. In fact, I looked pretty unpleased for summer to end.

While the unpleasantness of the end of summer probably never quite left my face, feelings changed. I remember my first day of high school and being SO excited to finally have left middle school and enter what I thought would be adulthood. First day of college was a mix of fear and excitement. And then, last year, my last first day of school was a mixture of the apathy any bored senior knows, nervousness in facing first practice as captain, and the simple, enlightening knowledge that I'd made it through 3 years, I can do one more.

Now, a year later, I'm conflicted. Habit tells me that in a matter of weeks my routine will consist of hard plastic desks, afternoon practices, and late nights (not of studying, though). Part of me, admittedly, has the itch to go back and start learning anew, but that's an itch I can wait a year or two to scratch. The greater part of me has the desire to face new challenges in an as-of-yet underdeveloped part of my life: work. In the past day I've spoken to or emailed with two of my favorite DC people. One is embarking on a 2 year teaching challenge, the other quit his sure-to-be profitable job at Deloitte before it even started, becoming a field organizer for the Obama campaign. Both of them are working their asses off, drowning in work and assignments, going to bed exhausted every night from the sheer energy it takes to make every day successful. The thing is, they love their jobs, despite the late nights and despite the daily challenges and stress they're always presented with. While one (obviously) did have a first day of school, but on the other side of the desk, it seems that they're content to have August go by without the overwhelming wish to be back in school. Yes, we might miss college and its irresponsibility, but there's no real need to be back. The next step is treating them well.

Right now my "next step" is...average. I'm currently trying to make the decision between:
1. Staying where I am (professionally) for the next 6 months or so, earning a raise and promotion and sticking it out til I go somewhere else for a higher-level position.
Or
2. Going somewhere else now, same position, dealing with getting broken in to a new company all over again, but hopefully doing so in a more vibrant, challenging, and fitting environment.

Advice is welcomed.

So, that's August for me. Coasting along til I figure out my (re)direction, spending time off soaking up the city, its people, its food, reading for pleasure (something I never had in school), and building my sweater collection.

And if anyone wants to send me some candy on the first day of school....I won't say no.